stay where one is or delay action until a particular time or until something else happens.
“but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31
On my 21st birthday, I remember thinking to myself, “will I ever meet someone?” I was twenty-one. Looking back on my life at twenty-one, that was the most dramatic statement! But that’s the world for you. Everyone, including family and friends, placed so much pressure on dating.
I was homeschooled and still felt the pressure. I can’t imagine being within the walls of a school, surrounded by others my age. I dreaded the conversations at family gatherings due to the pressure. Hear me out, most family members came from a place of love, but it still didn’t make it easier to hear.
There are many different views on dating. You name it, I’ve heard it. From the church, believers, non believers, strangers, close friends... it seems to be a subject everyone has a different view on. They’re not all wrong, but I can also tell you they are not all right.
For me personally, in my walk with Jesus, I committed to not dating until I felt ready for marriage. To most people that seemed extreme. However, I didn’t care. I had a calling I was focused on and didn’t have time to allow my emotions to get in the way of who God had called me to be.
When it comes to dating, you may have heard from a friend or family member, “It’s just a movie and dinner, you don’t have to marry them.” I remember a time during my season of waiting when I heard His voice amongst the others, “It’s not just a date, it’s someone’s heart.” From that day on, I knew I couldn’t say yes to a date, unless I felt in my spirit I was ready to pursue a relationship with the end goal being marriage.
I didn’t meet Cody until I was twenty-four years old. (I’ll share our story of how we met on another post.) We dated eleven months, he proposed and we were engaged for seven months before our wedding. The crazy story behind us, is we worked one mile apart from each other, lived in the same apartment complex and attended the same church for eight years. We passed each other multiple times, yet we had never met.
Someone once told me, “the right thing at the wrong time, is still the wrong thing.” Had I met Cody before God intended us to, I wouldn’t have given him the time of day. I wasn’t spiritually mature enough in my walk to extend grace. Instead, I would’ve compared our testimonies and missed my blessing. Years ago, our pastor preached a sermon entitled “Strangely Wrapped Gifts” and he shared how Jesus will send you a gift, but in a package you never expected it to come in. You see, if Jesus would’ve sent me the man I envisioned myself with, I would’ve missed out on a lot of growth myself. His plan is always perfect. He knows what we need. He has the details all figured out. Sometimes we just get in the way and slow the process down. It’s funny how we write list of what we think we want in a husband, then Jesus comes along and gives us what we need in a husband.
Girls, you don’t have to settle for less. You don’t have to date around to make you feel better about your singleness. You don’t have to dress a certain way to get a guys attention. You don’t have to lower your expectations due to the fear of being alone. Last I checked, Jesus didn’t put an age on when you had to be married. Grow yourself first, then allow Jesus to grow your future.
Here are a few ways to know you’re ready to date.
Your relationship with Jesus is top priority in your life.
You know without a doubt what God has called you to do while here on Earth.
You are spiritually mature to discern a person’s heart.
You have godly standards in place that you’re not willing to compromise.
You’ve completely healed from past relationships.
Girls, guard your heart. Everything you do flows from it.